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A Ritz Carlton wedding shot by Andy Lim

February 23rd, 2010 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Little White Book Blog, Wedding | 10 Comments

Courtesy of Andy Lim

Wan Sim recently got married in the U.K (where she currently resides) and back here in her homeland, Malaysia. Having written her first post about her ‘English’ Wedding, she took the liberty of also sharing her experience of planning her M’sian wedding from halfway across the world in London!

Written by: Wan Sim Tan-Sainsbury

Here is the list of suppliers whom my husband and I genuinely believe to be on our A-list. Four thumbs up for all!

The Venue

A small wedding, less hassles? Not quite. Since it is not the norm in Malaysia to have such a wedding, most of the hotel banquet rooms require a minimum of 200 guests.

Our winner was the Ritz Carlton Kuala Lumpur. It is centrally located and has beautifully set up function rooms that suit smaller weddings (from 40 – 120 people). The fact that we always had a very pleasant stay in this hotel did sway our minds a bit. It was also such a blessing to have a very capable and professional in-house wedding/catering coordinator, Ms Lim Kim Shia.

Being abroad, we heavily depended on emails to communicate. Kim Shia was so efficient that every time we emailed her with a long list of queries, she would respond adequately within 24 hours. She did not only undertake her role competently but always went the extra mile to arrange various other matters for us (even call us in the U.K). The service that she provided was just exceptional.

Courtesy of Andy Lim

We booked an apartment at The Ritz Residences for the Chinese Bridal Pickup session. The residences were also my ‘boudoir’ for the night before my big day while my hubby stayed across the road at the Westin Hotel. The Chinese Tea Ceremony was held after the bridal pickup in the day function room, which was set up in a theatrical style. The white glove services and the personal touches by the Ritz Carlton are highly commended by not only us, but our guests too.

Banquet Menu

The banquet food was of high quality and very much refined, since it was prepared by the Cantonese chef of the award winning Li Yen Restaurant of the hotel. We had maximum flexibility in choosing our banquet menu; in fact it was really anything that we fancied!

What impressed us most?

When they took the initiative to personalise all our wedding notices and menu cards with our own logo, without us knowing! It was a pleasant surprise when we saw it after we sat down at our table.

This is simply the trademark of Ritz Carlton, where service has a personal touch.

The Photographer

Mr. (& Mrs.) Andy Lim from Emotion in Pictures

After months of correspondences via emails, we finally met up with Andy two weeks before our wedding. Andy and Junnie (his lovely Mrs.) were highly recommended by a recently married friend of mine in London (Andy was his wedding photographer). It all happened when I expressed my concern to my friend that I may have a problem getting a reliable professional photographer in Malaysia (that’s also within our budget). We realised through our search, that there are either the very good ones who strive to be better, or the used-to-be very good ones, who just remain as they was before.

Courtesy of Andy Lim

In my opinion, a wedding is unique to each couple – hence it should be individually expressed by the photographer through his/her own lenses based on the surrounding moods, people and emotions of that very special day. Andy was all that. He achieved all the above successfully with his non-intrusive and relaxed manner. Natural laughter, tears and joy of everyone can be expressed without the feeling of uneasiness. Andy amazingly captured not just our emotions, but also the emotions of the people around us. I believe this is not simply because of his photography skill, but his actually his natural ability of foreseeing people reactions by cleverly interpreting the mood of that split second. Just from one of his photos, it will tell you the story of that very moment.

Courtesy of Andy Lim

Believe it or not, Andy was also with us for a photo shoot just two days before our wedding! We were in Langkawi for part of our wedding video shoot, and thought that it would be a good idea for our Malaysian team to collaborate before the wedding. What can I say, it turned out to be a great success! Andy produced some pretty amazing WOW shots that just blew our minds away and we were so excited to see them on TWG.

Courtesy of Andy Lim

The Florist – Spring Cottage at The Ritz Residence

Spring Cottage is the in-house florist for the Ritz Carlton. We corresponded via emails a month before to discuss ideas and flowers availability. We actually had our first face-to-face meeting only 2 weeks before the wedding! I brought along some photos of my preferred flowers arrangements and a list of the flowers that I would like. A list is useful as it does give the florist an idea of the colour tone, effects and even the flower scent that you want. For me, I was making sure that my flowers did not have any heavy scented flower/foliage, as I wanted the room to be filled with my favourite scent, Lily of the Valley (yes, I did bring all my candles with me from London).

Spring cottage was very good as they did a few sample arrangements for me right on the spot, which is usually a good sign of a competent florist. This gave me the virtual impression of the flower arrangement mix and we got to fiddle with size and texture. They do have an extensive portfolio, so you won’t be out of ideas if you need some guidance. Since I was staying at the Ritz, it was convenient for me to pop downstairs and check on my flowers the day before my wedding. Lucky me, they were absolutely spot on. The flowers were just gorgeous! I could not be any happier.

Tags: Andy Lim, Chinese Wedding, Li Yen Restaurant, Ritz Carlton KL, Spring Cottage florist, Wedding Malaysia, Wedding Venues

Nurul & Azmir’s wedding (FIFOTO)

January 29th, 2010 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Little White Book Blog, Wedding | 5 Comments

Hey everyone!

We just got these lovely pics of Nurul & Azmir’s wedding from Fiona Lim of FIFOTO. Here’s the wedding breakdown:

Akad Nikah held at Bride’s place in Sri Hartamas
Bride’s Reception held at Wisma Yayasan
Groom’s reception at Marriott

The Akad Nikad had a green & cream theme to it which I really like – isn’t green very soothing and peaceful? No wedding stresses there! Also, notice the fake eyelashes on the bride, if you ‘heart’ this I believe you can get similar designs from Shu Uemera who has collaborated with local designer Melinda Looi, to create out of this world lashes.

During the wedding reception, Nurul changed from her baju kebaya into a traditional bridal dress. The bridesmaid’s baju kebaya is lovely with the black and orange tones. We usually try to avoid black for weddings but in this case it really works! If you’re stuck for ideas on what wedding songs to choose, here’s what Nurul and Azmir settled on:

Performances at Nurul’s Reception
1) Tony Leo & Wel Loren
2) Chak Onn Lau – CLEO rendition of “You were there – by Southern Sons”
3) Anita Ibrahim – “Quando, Quando, Quando”
4) Surprise song by Azmir, the groom himself, singing Besame Mucho

Surprise performance at Azmir’s Reception
1) Zain Amri Ayeob & Natasha Ayla – “The Prayer” (Celine Dion + Andrea Bocelli’s rendition)

The wedding reception followed a colour theme of lilacs, pastel pink and white. Nice touch of hanging the wedding photos up – it gives a personal feel which is what it should be after all.

Here’s an interesting fact: Azmir was one of Cleo’s 2009 Bachelors but withdrew b4 the contest ended coz he met Nurul & fell crazy in love!!

Now that is what I call the hand of fate!

Tags: akad nikah, Fifoto Photography, Malay Wedding, Wedding Malaysia

Cross cultural weddings? Meet my parents!

January 22nd, 2010 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Wedding | 9 Comments

I remember as a child in Kuching, my teacher Mrs. Wei remarked to me that ‘as an eurasian, you will either get the best of both worlds or the worst of both’. Though there have been times in my life where I felt neither here or there (Chinese or European?!), for the most part I’ve been blessed to enjoy living in Asian & Western society. To be honest though, I’ve never really dated out of my comfort zones. My type of guy has always been either chinese, mixed or caucasian. Which led me to wonder – how did my parents unite and overcome differences between their cultures? Well, perhaps its true that ‘love conquers all’.

My mother is a full-blooded italian (if you met her you would know) who grew up in New Zealand. My father, who hails from Kuching in Sarawak, is as chinese as they come. As fate would have it, he went to university in NZ and met her there upon graduation. After a two year courtship, my father convinced mum to marry him and move back to Sarawak with him. Now, as a Kuching girl myself, I know all too well that even when I was a kid in the 80s – it was a pretty quiet place. So if you can imagine in the 70s… it was definitely not as ‘happening’ as my mother envisioned!

So who better to interview about cross cultural marriage than my own parents?

How did you guys end up meeting?

M: We met in New Zealand through one of my neighbours, after Francis had finished his studies.

Dad, how did you know Mum was meant to be your wife?

D: It just happened. Apparently love at first sight.

Was it difficult understanding one another since Dad is so traditional and Mum quite the Italian?

M: Well, when we were young we faced these challenges together and we adapted as much as we could.

D: When I was growing up, I was brought up to respect my parents and tried to help whenever possible. When my mum and dad asked me to do something, I always obliged if it was feasible. Mum being Italian always thought that I was scared of my parents. However, my motto was to keep the peace if no harm was done.

M: Although, Dad did stand his ground on certain things like keeping his hair long (it was the 70s) and marrying a me, a westerner.

Where did you get married?

M: We were married in January 1976 at St Joseph’s Catholic church in Kuching. Our priest was Father Su, who is now Bishop Su.

What was the wedding like?

M: We had a small wedding at the church in the morning. Later on we had a chinese tea ceremony at Francis’s family house, where we held these candles and bowed to one another. The candles were placed in a small altar and as they burned they curved towards each other, which was a very good sign according to chinese beliefs.

Were your families happy about your marriage?

M: It was a bit hard at first. Dad comes from a big, traditional family where the eldest son had just married an Australian lady. Dad was the second son to marry and had chosen to marry me – a New Zealander. However, the candles forming towards one another was a good signed which helped. Also, when Francis’ s mother went to the temple they said he had married the right woman.

What about your side of the family Mum?

M: My mother loved Francis from the very beginning, she regarded him as a son. Of course she was not that happy that I was leaving New Zealand, as my dad had only passed away two years before. However, she had many trips to Malaysia and loved it – especially the people, food and shopping.

Since it was your first time in Asia – was it overwhelming and hard to adjust?

M: Yes, it was difficult at first, as I was unable to work because of the language barriers and found the heat of the tropics exhausting. In time, I made friends and kept busy with various activities. In New Zealand when we were dating we went to nightclubs and enjoyed dancing. But when I arrived in Kuching and wanted to go to the nightclubs, they were of a different kind where you would hire a hostess for an hour to drink and dance with you… so naturally, that was the end of going out for us! Instead, we went to movies at least 4 times a week then went on to have these wonderful suppers, sometimes eating a dozen prawns at 11 pm.

After marrying, did you find yourselves more influenced by eachother’s culture?

D: Ate more western food.

Would you want your own children to marry different cultures? What’s the secret to your long marriage!

M: It would be up to them, as long as they love and respect one another and take the time to make sure it would be a long-term commitment. Hahaha, secret? Well, there has never been a divorce on my Italian side of the family and neither has there been one on Francis’s side. Of course we have our moments of discontent but we have to move on and accept that some problems will never be solved, and agree to disagree. We are fortunate that our children have graduated, are building their own careers and are able to embrace both cultures.

Tags: Cross-cultural marriage, Eurasian wedding, Stephanie Chai

Deborah Henry’s sister Rebecca gets married – Part 2!

January 12th, 2010 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Wedding | 3 Comments

Last week we posted the first batch of photos from Rebecca Henry’s wedding that took place at St. Mary’s cathedral in K.L. As you can see from the pics, the Henry sisters (Rebecca, Deborah & Rachel) are all blessed with good genes! The reception was held at Le Meredien where about 300 friends and family attended. As their mother is Irish and their father Malaysian Indian, the reception was a mix of western and indian influences to reflect both cultures.

The Henry’s come from a big, close-knit family, and thus decided not to opt for a wedding planner. I remember that for the last few months Debs always been busy with weekly ‘family/ wedding’ meetings. But if you look through the photos, I have to say that they did a great job! The colour theme for the evening reception was dusty pink, aubergine and white. The floral arrangements were in sync with the theme and done by ‘Simply flowers’ – who used a mix of carnations, eustomas and roses. The couple chose a sugee cake created by Pamela Jones who makes great wedding cakes from home.

The motif of the evening were ‘birds’. Rebecca (who resides in Australia) brought over an array of crystal birds and nests from Brisbane. As part of the decoration, the birds were a great touch – guests were even asked to sign cards in the shapes of birds and hang them on the ‘wishing’ tree. Nests were aptly placed on the tables with sugar almonds scattered around them.

Although the dinner set served was western (such as mushroom truffle soup), their indian heritage was definitely not forgotten. Rebecca, who arrived in her bridal gown, changed into her sari halfway through the dinner courses. Given both Deborah and her younger sister Rachel (an up and coming singer) are both used to the limelight, it’s no surprise they put together an awesome bollywood dance to entertain the guests!

The girls practiced for a good 6 weeks or more and I actually joined them for one dance session (just for fun!), and I must say they were working hard up to the day before the wedding! They came up with the moves with the help of a choreographer and boogied it away to ‘It’s time to disco and rock and roll’ from the Merchants of Bollywood soundtrack.

Rebecca and Dinesh certainly make a lovely couple and have now returned to Australia after their wonderful wedding back in their homeland, Malaysia. We wish them well and a big thank you to The Photoz for these great shots and of course to Deborah for answering all our questions!

Tags: Celebrity weddings, Deborah Henry, Indian wedding, Le Meredien weddings, Pamela Jones, Simply flowers, The Photoz, Wedding Decorations, Wedding Malaysia, Wedding Venues

A colourful Punjabi-Sindhi wedding by Andy Lim

November 19th, 2009 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Little White Book Blog, Wedding | 2 Comments

We need only catch a glimpse of a bollywood movie to know that the indian culture is one that is vibrant, emotive and colourful. So it’s no wonder that an Indian wedding is full of tradition and all that pizzazz. TWG vendor Andy Lim shot this amazing Punjabi-Sindhi wedding of Balbir & Sharuna’s in Ipoh earlier this year. Now this, is what I call a celebration!

The breakdown:

4th June 2009 -     Sagri + Dinner (5hrs)
5th June 2009 -     Groom’s Oil Ceremony (2hrs am) + Groom’s Sangeet (4hrs pm)
6th June 2009 -     Punjabi Wedding + Lunch (9hrs)
7th June 2009 -     Dinner Reception at Impiana Casuarina Hotel Ipoh (5hrs)

Mehndi ceremony (Hands & feet are painted with henna)

Indian weddings encapsulate many a tradition. The Mehndi ceremony tends to be held in the afternoon and is somewhat like a ladies tea party although males are allowed to attend. The bride, as well as other ladies, have their hands and feet decorated with henna (works like a temporary tattoo) and this can take up to a few hours to complete. Word of warning, do not to touch the henna until it’s completely dry (unless you want a smeared look!). Usually, the bride’s mother-in-law will apply the mehndi for her. The mehndi is supposed to show the ’strength of love’ and the darker it is, why… the stronger the love is!

The bride's sangeet - let's dance!

The Sangeet (or ‘guan’) is like a musical ceremony and nowadays usually takes place after the mehndi (to save time). As it’s pretty much like a pre-wedding party, you can hire professional entertainers who will come in to sing ‘ladas’ and popular hindi songs. It is another funfilled affair where family and friends eat, drink and then dance the night away!

Ghara ghardoli (oil ceremony)

While the bride is having her fun… the groom has his own ceremony to partake in! Here the groom is experiencing the ghara ghardoli (oil ceremony) where vatna or uptan (this ia a paste of powdered tumeric and mustard oil) is then applied to his body by relatives and friends. The vatna is supposed to have purifying properties which is apt as the groom next takes a bath. Afterwards, his clothes must be given away to someone less fortunate. The groom then also goes on to celebrate his own sangeet!

Getting ready for the wedding day

And then the most important day of all arrives, it’s time for the Sikh wedding ceremony which is called the Anand Karaj (’Blissful event or occasion’) and was held at Gurdwara Sahib Greentown. The Gurdwara is a sikh place of worship where the religious wedding ceremony takes place. Like many religions, Sikhs see marriage as a union of the spirit, mind and body whereby ‘two families are joined’.

Gurdwara Sahib Greentown

As you can see, it’s a lively event where families and friends are deeply involved. The Anand Karaj tends to take place in the morning but there is no set rule as to when it should begin or end. With Balbir & Sharuna’s wedding, the event lasted 9 hours (including lunch)! However, the religious part only lasts up to a few hours…

They are finally married! Love, love love these pics!

Of course, the party is not quite over yet! As day turns to night, the bride and groom accompanied by their many friends and family, set off for the dinner reception at Impiana Casuarina Hotel Ipoh.

The last celebration - more awesome song and dance!

I really like the photo of the band dancing – check out the guy bending over backwards… even I can’t do that! Balbir & Sharuna’s wedding no doubt looked like one complete with love and life. Congratulations to them both and thank you again to Andy Lim for these beautiful photos. I think this last pic perfectly sums the wedding up:

"I'm a smart man to of married her!" =)

Tags: anand karaj, Andy Lim, Balbir and Sharuna wedding, Ghara Ghardoli, Gurdwara, Impiana Casuarina Hotel, Indian wedding, mehndi, Punjabi-Sindhi wedding, Wedding Malaysia, Wedding Venues

5 mins with… Andy Lim (Wedding Photographer)

October 21st, 2009 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Little White Book Blog, Traditional, Wedding | 1 Comment

Hey everyone,

Since I started TWG my life has been weddings, weddings and weddings! I’m glad to say that we are getting more and more readers as well as some great vendors. The latest to be featured in our Little White Book directory is Andy Lim who has been a wedding photographer for many a year. I met up with him at Coffee Bean the other day and liked what I saw:) If you appreciate wedding photos that are very real and candid, Andy can do the job. Anyways, over some lattes and tea, we had a quick interview -

Tell us a little bit about yourself – have you always been a wedding photographer?
Before venturing out on my own, I led a team of designers in a multi-disciplinary design company – doing everything from web design and graphic design to photography and video production. With a background in the creative arts, the transition of going full time into photography was not difficult.

When did you discover your passion for it?
My first love was landscape and travel photography, which is how I started dabbling in photography. I didn’t discover my knack for capturing the moment until I started shooting triathlon events. Eventually I found my interest and expanded to other areas, one of which is wedding photography.

Shooting an actual day wedding is a lot of work – you need to be on the ball and make sure you get that money shot! How do you manage?
Yes it definitely is! A good sense of timing and anticipation, helped along by years of experience, does help. That said, my associate photographer (who happens to also be my wife) is indispensable when shots from different perspectives are required. Our teamwork benefits from an innate understanding of what the other person is doing.

Husband & wife team!

How would you describe your style?
I would describe my style as natural, real and one that evokes joy.

Show us your favorite shot ever – and why do you love it?
It’s really difficult to find one single shot that is my favorite, simply because wedding photographs are made up of many little ‘moments’ that tell the story. A single photo rarely ever tells the whole story of the wedding. But if I had to choose one, it would be this -

The couple were dancing during the reception and this unscripted shot hints of their love for one another… in the way they embraced, the ring on the finger, the expressions on their faces, and finally the matching dress and tie!

Any quick advice for brides out there looking to choose a wedding photographer?
Imagine that you are looking at your finished wedding album. Find out what type of pictures make you happy, and look for a photographer who delivers that style and feel.

Lastly, here are one of my favorite photos by Andy –

The expression of the bride & groom says it all...

Check Andy’s listing out in our Little White Book!

Tags: Andy Lim, Indian wedding, Wedding photography

A beautiful Malay wedding

October 19th, 2009 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Planning & Ideas, Wedding | 2 Comments

Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always loved attending weddings – be it a personal friend’s or as someones partner. And why not? A wedding has to be one of the best moments in the lifecycle of a relationship. It’s that pivotal moment where two come together and make that huge commitment of ‘forever and ever’. Well, I recently attended the wedding of two close friends who tied the knot after going out for nearly ten years. It was romantic, touching and I must say whenever I see them now… there’s a certain extra loving glow about the two!

As they are a very private couple (limited profile for all their FB friends!), I can’t say who they are or post pics with them in it. They’ve however very kindly allowed TWG to show photos of their decor and theme. As it was a Malay wedding, we had the akad nikah (signing of the marriage contract) in the morning, followed by makan beradab (lunch reception) in The Westin’s ballroom. This went on till about 3 pm, whereafter everyone went home to rest until the evening ‘party’ at Luna Bar! I hope you enjoy these photos that were taken by Fiona from Fifoto.

The wedding bands + gifts the bride & groom exchange to eachother

Once the akad nikah is completed (they really do actually sign a contract!), the bersanding ceremony follows. Here guests must shower the couple with rice and scented water, to signify a blessing to the couple. Though I can’t show you a photo of that, you can see the pelamin or dais that they had made for the special day.

The dais + bridesmaids carrying gifts

The overall theme was a colour palette of aubergine, platinum and lilac. I do like what The Westin did with the flower arrangements below and must say I love the lilac baju kebaya worn by the bridesmaids. By the way, can you spot Miss Deborah Henry in the pic above!

Flowers were nicely done by The Westin

After the bersanding, it was time to take our seats and enjoy the feast!

The ballroom was lit up with blue tones - a bit of a disco feel!

The couple wanted something very simple, easy going with a touch of elegance… for them the most important ingredient was the company – and sometimes that’s all you need, your friends & your family.

The bride & groom walking down a new path

Tags: akad nikah, Fifoto Photography, Malay Wedding, The Westin, Wedding, Wedding Decorations, Wedding Venues

Former Miss Malaysia World Deborah Henry walking down the aisle?

September 23rd, 2009 by Stephanie Chai | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Planning & Ideas, Wedding | 5 Comments

Gotcha!! Deborah might not be tying the knot just yet – but as maid of honor she has had her hands full of late… planning and organizing her elder sister Rebecca’s dream wedding. As Deborah is Eurasian (Indian and Irish), I’ve always been curious to see which culture takes precedent when it comes to big events like getting hitched. For Deborah’s family would that mean – saris and lots of Guiness?? Perhaps, perhaps not! But I thought the best way to find out was to give her a buzz and ask away…

Your elder sister Rebecca is marrying a lovely Malaysian fella. What kind of wedding did they decide to have?
Well, we’re Christian so first and foremost she decided to have a church wedding. However, our Indian heritage is very strong too so we wanted to incorporate that as well. Thus when we have the church ceremony, the brides and Bec will all be in western gowns… but for the dinner reception, it will be a change into saris for all! Overall, the feel we’re going for is sophisticated, elegant and classy. Also, our church and wedding reception are not on the same day… we thought it would be too rushed to do so and made the reception the day after.

Theme?
Bec decided on a colour scheme of lemon yellow/ivory for the church and dusty pink/ivory white for the reception. For a motif, she chose birds (not real ones!)… so there will be lots of bird cages and fake birds used for decoration. A really cool idea is that when guests arrive at the reception there will be dove shaped cards for them to sign and write a personal message on. These will then be hung on a few trees that are placed outside the ballroom. Little touches like naming the tables after birds – ‘humming’ or ‘nightingale’ make it intimate and stylish.

The Henrys - Rachel, Deborah & Rebecca (bride!)

What other Indian influences are there?
We are still keeping some traditions. For instance, the night before the wedding, the grooms family will come to the house bringing trays with wedding saris, flowers and a Thali (Indian necklace which takes the place of a wedding ring). This will be presented to our parents.

Bec will then wear the Thali and sari at her wedding reception. Though the food will be western at the reception – after the church ceremony we will have a private family dinner – with some great Indian food!

Entertainment?
Well, Indian culture is all about being colourful and vibrant… so bec’s close friends are putting on a Bollywood dance! On the groom’s side, his friends will be doing a dance as well as singing to ‘My girl’ by The Temptations! Also when Bec arrives at the reception she will go straight into her wedding dance. We are trying to avoid the typical stuffiness of a wedding!

Jai-ho! Jai-ho!

Sounds like a great wedding! And a lot of planning. Did you use a wedding planner?
Nope. Our family is planning it all! We have had weekly meetings… I think because there are so many of us its okie to do. If we were a smaller group then a planner would be a good idea.

Cake?
For the church ceremony– we have 300 cupcakes – a cupcake tower being made by Cuppacakes Wondermilk.

Afterparty?
Just going to get a DJ to play his set in the ballroom.

Any hiccups?
I think planning the wedding is ok if you have a planner and budget is no issue… if not it can be tough. Our challenge was finding florists with modern flower arrangements – coming from Australia what we’ve seen is a lot more stylized and there’s a greater variety of flowers. Another frustrating thing was finding the ‘bird’ décor… in the end Bec had to fly the ornaments back from Australia. It was also hard to find where do we go and how to find online (hint hint: go The Wedding guide!).

Tags: Deborah Henry, Maid of Honour, Malaysia Wedding, Miss Malaysia, Model, Wedding

A quintessentially malay wedding

September 15th, 2009 by Evi Abdul Jabar | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Wedding | No Comments

Courtesy of Jason Victor

When you live in Malaysia (truly Asia), its no surprise that in a weekend alone one can experience an array of cultures and customs. For a newbie to the wedding circuit, attending a Chinese, Indian or Malay wedding can be a very different cup of tea indeed.

In most cultures, weddings are grand affairs – and a Malay wedding is no exception.

The wedding day starts off with the Akad Nikah. It is essentially a ceremony where a verbal and written contract is exchanged between the bride’s father or his representative and the groom. The contract stipulates how both bride and groom shall behave and treat one another – I went to one recently where the groom agreed not to leave the bride for more than a period of 4 months! Good idea, I think.

Unlike wedding ceremonies in the west, there are no vows or teary speeches by couple before they are pronounced man and wife – the Akad Nikah follows Islamic law and is in actual fact, very simple.

But then again, perhaps not that simple for the groom; with butterflies in his stomach and sweat running down his brow as he annunciates his acceptance of his bride. All this while the crowd of family and friends watch in anticipation!

I know you’re wondering where the bride is in all of this. Well, she’s sitting comfortably by her groom, hoping that he can utter his acceptance smoothly in one go. Once the witnesses and the kadhi agree to the clarity of the groom’s acceptance, then the couple is officially married.

Then voila – let the celebration begin!

The walimah (celebration) is first held at the bride’s home. The groom makes his grand entrance to the bride’s house with a hadrah or a kompang band – a music group with hand drums. But on arrival, he is not allowed entry until he pays the proper tax or fee in the form of money to the bride’s family.

Only after that is he united with his bride for the bersanding ceremony – which literally is what the word means, the bride and groom sitting together on an ornately decorated pelamin or dais. Relatives will sprinkle rose water, petals and rice from a tiered pedestal on the couple to symbolize fertility. After this, its time to makan.

And there is it is in a nutshell – a Malay wedding!

Tags: Malay Wedding, Wedding Customs

Keeping chinese traditions alive

September 7th, 2009 by Elaine Ho | Posted in Cultural Weddings, Wedding | 1 Comment

To some of us, when we think of a Chinese wedding, images conjure of a big banquet with great food and a long ‘yam seng’. However, things aren’t quite as simple or straightforward as we think. For a culture that is built on tradition and beliefs – it’s no surprise that a Chinese Wedding is steeped in customs (which are very fun I might add!).

Let’s start with the betrothal. What I’ve learned about Chinese wedding customs is that they are very specific. For example, I found that an engagement gift for the bride may include: western and Chinese wedding cakes, two bottles of brandy, an even number of tangerines and oranges, peanut candies for a teochew bride and rice candles for a hokkien bride, at least six tins of canned pork legs or a whole roast pig for a Cantonese bride, and lastly, betrothal jewelry from the groom’s parents to the bride.

Quite a list, eh? Oh, and of course there is also the bride’s dowry, which is usually presented in a red packet or sometimes wrapped in a red cloth.

Let’s not forget the groom – the bride also has to bestow gifts. Customarily, the bride’s parent’s will replace the two bottles of brandy with two bottles of orange syrup and an even numbered portion of other gifts which are returned to the groom’s family together with two phoenix candles.

Okay, back to the wedding ceremony itself! The wedding day starts with the groom setting off to fetch his bride… but it’s not as easy as it seems – obstacles are placed in order for him to marry the woman he loves.

First of all, the groom must not come empty handed. Certain items that symbolize good fortune, prosperity and even a hundred years of closeness and happiness in marriage are brought in the form of tangerines and oranges, dried persimmons and dried magnolia petals to name a few.

Once the groom’s car pulls up to the bride’s home, he must wait until the bride’s younger brother (if she has one) opens the door. When that happens, they will then give the groom two oranges, which are left in the car for good fortune. The groom in turn gives his future brother-in-law a red packet. If the bride does not have a younger brother, a younger male relative or friend can take on the role.

But wait, the groom’s quest is not over yet! The bridesmaids will block his entrance, and give him various ‘challenges’ to power his way through. This could be either a tough bargaining session involving notes & coins or even getting the groom to sing love songs or push-ups!

Once the bridesmaids are contented, they allow the groom inside to kiss his bride and also serve morning tea and sweet soup. But a word of caution, the groom must fetch his bride and bring her home before 9am. So don’t keep him doing too many push-ups at the door!

As bride and groom return to his home, his family and friends will hide in the house to avoid the clashing of luck. It is only after the bride has entered the decorated bridal room that they come out of hiding and return to the family hall together, to embark on the next ritual – the tea ceremony.

This ritual has great importance in a Chinese wedding. The tea ceremony begins with the bride bring formally introduced to the groom’s family. The newlyweds will first serve tea to their parents, followed by the grandparents, granduncles and aunts, uncles and aunts, elder brothers and sisters and lastly elder cousins.

After the tea ceremony the couple will usually proceed to their church wedding or registration of marriage (ROM), which is followed by an extravagant banquet celebrating the newlywed’s couple union.

I know I’m leaving a lot of details out, but you could seriously write a book on these customs! There is just so much attention to detail. But in a nutshell – these are some traditional Chinese wedding customs!

Tags: Groom, Wedding Etiquette

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