So, you’re your best buddy’s bestman, and you have to come up with a speech for the big day toast. Only problem is this is your first time and you have no idea where to start from and how. Writing a great speech requires a little creativity, a little patience, some hard work, and some ingenuity – but sometimes  you’re just stumped. Fret not, here five simple tips to help you to write a great best man speech in no time.

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Make sure your speeches are structured well. Have a CLEAR beginning, middle AND end. All speeches need structure; whatever tangents you seem to go off on, you need to ‘bring it all together’. Whether your speech is five minutes or twenty-five, you’ll need clear signposts so you know where you are. Once you have mapped your landmarks, that’s all you need. Don’t try to memorize a whole script in your head, because it needs to sound spontaneous. But keep in mind you still need a strong, well rehearsed opener and finisher.

Talk Not Read

You want your audience to have a good experience, not to meticulously retain facts. If they feel good during and after your speech, they won’t care that they can’t recall much of its content. Think of your speech as a pre-arranged chat; a conversation you’re having with a great friend. This doesn’t mean cursing the way you normally might, but it does mean you can have lapses in memory, mispronounce words, and even muddle the order of your ‘signposts’.

Mind The Alcohol

The trouble with drinking is that it often seems like a good idea when it’s not. Actually, that’s true about lots of things. Don’t drink to ‘calm your nerves’. People will – eventually – know. It’s actually okay to have one or two because it’s a wedding but keep a clear head. While people somehow believe they are better drivers, tightrope walkers, and speech makers when they are under the influence; the fact is, that’s what it feels like, but not what it looks like.

Laugh With, Not At.

Bawdy humour may be very funny with your mates down the pub, but remember who your audience is. Saucy stories about the groom or bride’s intimate past may go down like a ton of bricks. Keep mocking to a minimum; you might just offend someone. But clean…ish funny stories are worth the risk and will be appreciated because people expect to laugh at least a little during your speech. No one expects you to be a professional stand-up – people will appreciate the effort, but please keep it clean…. ish.

Prepare AND Relax

It’s not always enough to rehearse just what you’re going to say; you also need to rehearse how you’re going to feel, look, and come across.

Find time to relax and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths, particularly focussing on lengthening the out-breath. And just take a few moments to watch yourself, in your mind’s eye, looking relaxed and in flow, walking up to the microphone, and then giving your speech with friendly confidence. This will help program your mind to feel naturally calm and confident in the situation itself.

So, there you go. We do hope that helped, so now go and dazzle everyone with your bestman speech!

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