Oh dear. We’ve all heard stories of how invited guests don’t show up for weddings (how rude), but ruder still is the person who shows up with a plus one, unannounced. Almost every bride is prepared to over-cater, but to have guests left without food is a nightmare situation!
This is of course, the worst case scenario, but what if you have advance notice before your wedding that a friend (whom you’re not even that close to) wants to bring his or her new squeeze whom you’ve never met before to the reception? If you have plenty of seats to spare, this isn’t a problem, naturally, but what if your guestlist is already tight?
- Nina Callaway of About.com points out with limited budgets, that stranger (to you) is taking the place of someone you do know and would like to have at your wedding. She suggests creating a blanket rule and sticking to it, such as “only couples that live together”, or “only couples that are in relationships, not just dating casually”.
- Jocelyn from Ask Jocelyn says that while some people may feel “entitled” to bring a plus one especially if they are married or engaged, it is still the marrying couples’ prerogative. However, she advises having a chat with the bride or groom to clarify if their invitation extends to your other half.
- Meanwhile, Peggy Post at the New York Times reckons a plus one invites are fine if you’re married, engaged to, living with or in a long-term relationship with. She tells guests not to be offended and to look on the bright side: “ Be happy that you’re one of the ‘must be there’ people on the bride and bridegroom’s guest list.”
- For every scenario, including people ending up bringing a relative or someone you’ve consciously not invited, Easy Weddings reminds you there are two options, to evaluate on a case-by-case, or to stick to a rule and be consistent. Make the best of friends and family and use word-of-mouth to tell guests that due to limited seats, plus ones are a no-no unless you’ve specifically said yes, they advise.
- To try and avoid any awkwardness, Xochitl Gonzalez at Huffington Post outlines three simple rules each for the couple, and guests, respectively. She reminds guests of the most important rule: “The name on the front of the invitation is kind of also an instruction label: if only your name appears, only you were invited.”
- But what to do if a guest persistently asks to bring their plus one? SavvySugar tells you to stick to your guns and be firm. “You have every right to call those guests and simply tell them that you’re sorry if there was any confusion, but they were not invited with a guest,” their advice columnist writes. “I would hope they’d understand, but if you get some push back, stand your ground, be firm, and tell them there are no exceptions — period.”
Source: weddings.about.comWant to read more? Click on to this article here, about the plus one wedding dilemma.
Having had two weddings (and twice the headache!) I speak from experience when I say this is an inevitable pickle you’ll face. The best thing is to be clear on your invitations, and be firm with your guests.
At our smaller wedding, we enforced this strictly, but at our traditional Chinese reception, we were a bit more easygoing and allowed people to bring partners – only if they asked (nicely). Good luck with it!